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In Space Everyone Can Hear You Scream “HOWARD!”

Greetings, fellow life forms! Sorry I haven’t done a post like this in quite a while; I’ve just been spending a lot of my time doing homework and working for my GCSEs. I’ve finally found time to do a post about what I like best, though: The Big Bang Theory!

Here in the UK, the first episode of the sixth season of the Big Bang Theory was broadcast last Thursday. The adverts made them look AMAZING. But I didn’t have high hopes for it; the fifth season had been a bit of a flop (Geeky thought: I blame it on the departure of writer and executive producer Lee Aronshon, who left the series after Season Four), and the final episode I had a hunch would be forever known as the point when Big Bang Theory not just jumped the shark, but rocketed-into-the-sky-and-dived-back-down-over the shark.

The series had changed from a silly little group of programmes about four hopeless geeks trying but failing to communicate with the new species of life form known as women, to unusually sociable and knowledgeable geeks spending most of their time comfortably around women (whom one has even married), watching one of their group members blasting off into space. To paraphrase the late Neil Armstrong, “That’s one small step for man, one ludricously giant leap for devoted Big Bang Theory fans.”

The opening episodes for the first four seasons were PRETTY GOOD. We were introduced to the gang through a geniusly funny script and plot; we learned of what happens when you give Sheldon a glass of warm milk containing Valium (“I’m Batman. Shhh!”); we saw Howard look like a Chuckle Brother with his new moustache; and best of all, we saw Howard getting uncomfortable with his recently acquired robot hand, whilst Penny gets a grilling from Sheldon and Amy!

Season five was alright. The opening scene was nicely done with the “thinking cap” moment, and who can ever forget the line that won Sheldon’s team the Paintballing Cup: “Geology isn’t a real science!” But the sixth season opening episode left me mostly unimpressed. Sheldon had grown his hair into a side parting, smiled for most of the episode and even displayed a new-found affection towards women through his romantic speech taken from Spider Man (despite the fact that he’s supposed to be a condescending, annoying geek); Raj has lost his cute, naive touch that made him my favourite of the geeks, and the sketches featuring Howard and Bernadette are getting a bit tiresome. The moments with Leonard and Penny were alright, and the Bossa Nova moment between Raj and Stuart was…um…fascinating.

However, I haven’t completely given up hope with the Big Bang Theory. They have always made me smile. They have always made me laugh. They have always made me feel warm inside. No matter how many episodes I see. I like to think that watching an episode a day keeps the stress away! Also, Big Bang Theory seems to have the most luck with the second episode of each season: in them, there was the “Gravity” quote, Leslie Winkle dating Howard whilst Sheldon sits on the stairs playing Super Mario 64, the genius “Grasshopper” episode, Shel-bot, and Penny’s new armchair.

But anywho, I’m back! And so are my extremely long blog posts, it seems. Big Bang Theory is back too, and I mustn’t lose hope in my favourite sitcom that has rarely failed to put a smile on my face.

Live long and prosper! And may the force be with you! 😀

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Big Bang Theory Quote of the Week!

This week I present to you…Sheldon’s legendary speech…

Sheldon: Oh, dear.

Penny: What’s the matter?

Sheldon: I’m getting dizzy.

Raj: Don’t worry. You’re surrounded by your C-Men…

Sheldon: I can’t do this. I’m going to faint.

Penny: (handing Sheldon a glass of champagne) Here, drink this. It’ll relax you.

Sheldon: Alcohol? I don’t drink alcohol.

Penny: Fine, faint.

*Sheldon drinks from it.*

Sheldon: I don’t feel different, this alcohol’s defective.

Penny:(handing Sheldon another glass) Here, see if this one works.

*Sheldon swigs from it.*

Leonard (still talking): First of all, the projects were totally different! I was showing that classical music nurtures lima beans and makes them grow, but my mother didn’t hear me. If you’d like to look at the relationship between nurturing and growth, I’d like to point out that my brother is eight inches taller than me!!!!!

Sheldon:(drunkenlywaving a bottle of alcohol in the air and drinking from it) I’m reeeeeeaaaadyyyyyyyyyy!

Leonard:(restrained) Oh, right. Ladies and gentlemen, our guest of honour: Dr. Sheldon Cooper.

*Sheldon takes one last swig, leaps onto the stage and pushes Leonard away, seizing the microphone.*

Sheldon: Thanks, shorty, I’ll take it from here.

*Leonard sits.*

Sheldon: All right, you people ready to have some fun? You have a basic understanding of differential calculus and at least one year of algebraic topology? Well, then here come the jokes! Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip? To get to the same side! Bazinga!

*The hall murmurs. Nobody laughs. People look confused. Sheldon continues.*

Sheldon: All right, a neutron walks into a bar and asks, how much for a drink? The bartender says, for you, no charge!

*Raj giggles hysterically under his breath. Leonard glares at him and he stops.*

Sheldon: (thumping the microphone) Hello? I know you’re out there. I can hear you metabolizing oxygen and expelling carbon dioxide. Looks like we have some academic dignitaries in the audience. Dr. Randall from the geology department, only man who’s happy when they take his work for granite. Ba-da cha!

*Dr Randall looks annoyed. People murmur louder. Few people laugh.*

Sheldon: I kid the geologists, of course, but it’s only ’cause I have no respect for the field……..But let’s get serious for a moment.

*He crouches down and leans against the podium, glaring at the audience. The gang stare back at him.*

Sheldon: Why are we all here? ‘Cause we’re scientists. And what do scientists study? The universe. And what’s the universe made of? I’m so glad you asked. (Singing) Theeeeereeeee’s antimony, arsenic, aluminium, selenium, and hydrogen and oxygen and nitrogen and rhenium, and nickel, neodymium, neptunium, germanium… Everybody! And iron, americium, ruthenium, uranium, europium, zirconium, lutetium, vanadium… Just the Asians! (Penny stares wide eyed as the murmuring increases even more.) And lanthanum and osmium, and astatine and radium…

Live long and prosper! 😀

When NASA Becomes NODLEHS

I just HAVE to post this!

I’m sure you were aware weeks ago when NASA successfully landed the Mars rover Curiosity, which apparently had one of the most complicated landing procedures ever. It was a tremendous accomplishment, which was unfortunately overshadowed by the London 2012 Olympic Games.

The Mars Curiosity team knew that they had made history, so they decided to celebrate. But what did they do? Go to Disneyland (and ride the Matterhorn)? Go to Disneyworld (and ride the Matterhorn)? Nope, but I think you know what I’m getting at.

Yup. The Mars Curiosity team did what most scientific people want to do after a big accomplishment: visit the Big Bang Theory set!

Here’s the proof:

Check out Raj’s jacket and Howard’s beard…and Amy’s arm in a SLING?????????? What the hell happened?

Oh. Well, according to Wikipedia, Mayim Bialik (the actress who plays Amy) injured her arm in a car accident about a week ago.

But anyway, I think the NASA team are pretty forgiving to be in the same room as Howard since he crashed the Mars Rover! And Sheldon’s in his spot (although cheeky Raj seems to be invading it a little)! 🙂

Good News Everyone!

I have just managed to finish my Big Bang Theory script!

Turns out that I might have got a bit carried away when I wrote it, cos when I acted it out, it was in fact about episode length, and on MS Word it was about 14 pages long.

There are many moments in the script that I am proud of, and I am very happy of the result. Considering I wrote this by myself (with some help from other people), I don’t have a very good scientific knowledge, and writing jokes that are actually funny is pretty tough work, I think that I was successful in this bold challenge.

I know that reading a transcript is not as good as actually watching it being acted out, but I think Sheldon would say here that it’s in fact better, for when we read a transcript, we are using the most powerful graphics chip known to man: imagination! And he’s right, for I’m sure our imaginations have come up with some pretty unsettling images of Howard’s mother that not even state-of-the-art graphics chips or top quality Hollywood make-up can compete with, let alone create successfully!

To read the episode transcript, click on the Page Box above entitled “The Dumbass Conjecture” and enjoy!

Live long and prosper! 😀

Screwed

Just a short post about one of the most scientific but funny jokes in Big Bang Theory (Season 4). Which one though? See if you can work it out from the blog title…

Can’t? Here’s the answer:

Leonard: All right, well, let me see if I can explain your situation using physics. What would you be if you were attached to another object by an inclined plane wrapped helically around an axis?

Sheldon: Screwed.

Leonard: There you go. (He exits the building, leaving a bewildered Sheldon.)

Sheldon: Amy’s right. He is tedious.

Later…

Amy: I believe a misunderstanding may have occurred when I asked you to meet my mother.

Sheldon: No misunderstanding. I’ve learned what that request actually means, and I don’t want to be joined to another object by an inclined plane wrapped helically around an axis.

Amy: In what way are you screwed?

Basically, this joke is a pun. If you look at the picture below, you will notice that the ridges on the sharp bit are on an inclined plane, wrapped helically round the metal point — the axis. Attach it to another object and ta da! It’s screwed!

I’ve got this joke only recently. There are still more Big Bang Theory jokes I don’t quite get, and I think I will only understand if I had a university degree. Which is a shame. But thankfully, the BBT writers are kind enough to have jokes based on science fiction, comics, and innuendo (something teenagers have a firm grasp of now :-D)!

Live long and prosper! 🙂

ATTENTION ALL BIG BANG THEORY FANS!!!

Now I am REALLY ECSTATIC! Just in time for Halloween, SheldonShirts.com has finally found SHELDON’S DOPPLER EFFECT SUIT! I suggest you follow the link to buy the suit NOW!…Or in the near future. I’m not picky.

http://www.tvstoreonline.com/big-bang-theory-sheldon-doppler-effect-costume.html

Live long and prosper! 😀

Yoshi

I’m a devoted Legend of Zelda fan, having completed nine of the 16 Zelda games currently released. But I still love Mario games. Opening up the parcel containing Super Mario Galaxy 2 is still embedded in my memory as one of the most serotonin-intoxicating events (in simple terms, it was the event that made me feel the most high on happiness). But my favourite character is not Mario. It’s not Luigi (although I sympathise with him, being a little bit of a scaredy-cat and a younger brother). It’s not used-to-be-transvestite Birdo. And it’s certainly not Rosalina (I’ve just completed the final level in Super Mario Galaxy 2. My hands are so sweaty they might as well be made of water. My blood has been fully replaced with adrenaline. My mind’s shattered from the difficulty of the level. I go back to the hub ship to find that Rosalina’s appeared. I go over to her. She talks. Eight words. “I would like to give you my thanks.” THAT’S IT?Commence quarter of an hour pounding her head which is, unfortunately, protected by a force-field). The clue’s in the title: Yoshi!

Instead of asking why I like Yoshi, maybe you should ask why most of the world love Yoshi! Official Nintendo Magazine (ONM) Readers voted him the greatest Mario Kart character, and Japanese gamers voted the little green dinosaur the third greatest video game character ever. Why? Simples: he’s just A–DORABLE! Those little squeaks and grunts and wails he makes as he flutter jumps over gaps, chilli-sprints up walls and shoots out his extended red tongue that latches onto anything. Not exactly dinosaur qualities, but there you go.

Yoshi’s like a little green baby, what with his love of fruit (he’s ALWAYS hungry) and his constant wailing whenever he loses Mario Kart (a sight I still can’t bear to see), but he can also be ferocious when he wants to; the look of rage on his face as he prepares for his power strike in sports games is a pretty shocking sight!

In sports games he’s often light and speedy. In Super Mario games he’s fun and joyful to control. In all games, he has the Aw Factor.

Yoshi is the greatest!

To finish off, here’s a BBT Quote of Raj making the right choice in a Mario Kart game (beforehand that is):

Raj: (as YOSHI!) Ha! Eat my dust, racially stereotypical plumber!

*He crosses the finish line, missing Sheldon/Mario’s green shell, which was thrown in desperation.*

Sheldon:(as Mario) That’s not fair! I got stuck behind a tree.

Raj: And a cow and a penguin (although in the race they are playing (Mario Circuit — Wii version), there are no cows or penguins). Face it dude, whether it’s a real car or a virtual cartoon car, you can’t drive.

Sheldon: (indignantly) Just need a little more practice.

Raj: What you need is cheat codes, motor skills and a magic genie who grants wishes to little boys who suck at Mario Kart.

Also another geeky fact (just for the halibut): when Sheldon walks in on Howard, Raj and Leonard playing Mario Kart: Double Dash on the Gamecube on a newly acquired sofa (for which Leonard had notified Sheldon by email) in the episode when we find out how the elevator was broken, the three are playing Waluigi Stadium. Or Wario Colosseum. Just a little useless fact you don’t need to know, but I do.

Live long and prosper!

Big Bang Theory Quote of the Week!

This time I’m going to do a milestone quote: a scene from the (aired) pilot episode! The series creators Chuck Lorre and Bill Prady’s original pilot was rightfully unaired because of its poor quality…presumably. In it, according to TV Links, the two geeks sell their sperm to a sperm bank for Thai food. They meet a girl down on her luck and invite her to stay at their apartment. When their room-mate finds out she isn’t happy. The whole episode was filmed, ready to be aired. Thank goodness it never was.

But anyway, this quote introduces a certain character without whom The Big Bang Theory would be mindless geeky droll, and also the greatest running gag ever…

Penny: (sitting in Sheldon’s spot) Uh, do you guys mind if I start?

Sheldon: Um, Penny, that’s where I sit.

Penny: So, sit next to me.

Sheldon: No, I sit there.

Penny: (puzzled) What’s the difference?

Sheldon: What’s the difference?

Leonard: (rolling his eyes) Here we go.

Sheldon: In the winter that seat is close enough to the radiator to remain warm, and yet not so close as to cause perspiration. In the summer it’s directly in the path of a cross breeze created by open windows there, and there. It faces the television at an angle that is neither direct, thus discouraging conversation, nor so far wide to create a parallax distortion. I could go on, but I think I’ve made my point.

Penny: (flabbergasted, but trying to stay sane) Do you want me to move?

Sheldon: Well…

Leonard: (pleadingly) Just sit somewhere else!

Sheldon: Fine. (Wanders in circles, looking lost.)

Leonard: Sheldon, sit!

*Sheldon sits.*

Sheldon: Ah.

Later…

Leonard:Tell us about you.Penny: Um, me? OK. I’m a Sagittarius, which probably tells you way more than you need to know.

Sheldon: Yes, it tells us that you participate in the mass cultural delusion that the Sun’s apparent position relative to arbitrarily defined constellations and the time of your birth somehow effects your personality.

Penny: (befuddled) Participate in the what?

Leonard: I think what Sheldon’s trying to say, is that Sagittarius wouldn’t have been our first guess.

Penny: Oh, yeah, a lot of people think I’m a water sign. (Sheldon passes Leonard a confused look. Leonard mouths to disregard it.) Okay, let’s see, what else…oh, I’m a vegetarian. Oh, except for fish. And the occasional steak. I LOVE STEAK!

Sheldon: That’s interesting. Leonard can’t process corn.

Leonard: (shell-shocked from Sheldon’s remark) Wu-uh, do you have some sort of a job?

Penny: Oh yeah, I’m a waitress at the Cheesecake Factory.

Leonard: Oh, OK. I love cheesecake.

Sheldon: You’re lactose intolerant.

Leonard: I don’t eat it, I just think it’s a good idea!

Penny: Oh, anyways, I’m also writing a screenplay. It’s about this sensitive girl who comes to L.A. from Lincoln, Nebraska, to be an actress, and winds up a waitress at the Cheesecake Factory.

Leonard: So it’s based on your life?

Penny: No, I’m from Omaha.

Leonard: Well, if that was a movie I would go see it.

Penny: I know, right!

Before I leave you, a bit of news: I’ve suddenly realised just how much of a challenge writing a 25 minute Big Bang Theory episode is, and considering I have other stuff to do, I’m not the most scientific of people, and I don’t know much about American culture, I might not be able to write and post a Big Bang Theory script. But I might just be over-worrying, and I should  probably make myself bothered to do a bit of research for the episode. I might also just write a mini-episode. But if anybody could provide help, or even write an episode themselves, I would be absolutely delighted. I’ll try to do something special for you lot if I fail, as an apology.

Live long and prosper! 😀

Big Bang Theory Quote of the Week!

Almost forgot to do this as well! Sorry everyone. Sorry again about the short notice; I though I had scheduled a BBT Quote post for today. Turns out I hadn’t. So this might be a bit rushed. Sorry. Anyway, this is from a particularly interesting BBT episode…

Leonard/Green Lantern:(to Sheldon) What are you doing?

Sheldon/Flash: (pacing up and down the room) We’re going to be late! I’m pacing nervously.

Leonard: You’re jogging.

Sheldon: This is how the Flash paces.

Leonard: Just chill out, Sheldon.

Sheldon: (stopping) I’m not Sheldon! I’m the Flash! And now I’m going to the Grand Canyon to scream in frustration. (steps to his left, then back) I’m back.

*Howard/Batman jumps into the room, hands hips.*

Howard/Batman: (gruffly) I’m Batman.

Sheldon: (unamused) Oh, I hardly think so! The real caped crusader calls his crime-fighting cohorts when he’s running late.

Howard: (normal voice) Sorry, I had to walk. I couldn’t get Raj on the back of my scooter.

*Raj/Aquaman plods in. His suit is of Aquaman riding a pink sea horse. It’s impossible for him to sit down whilst wearing the suit.*

Raj/Aquaman: (grumpily) I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: Aquaman sucks.

Zack/Superman: Look up in the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! (jumps into the rooms, hands on hips. Then his face goes blank) I forget the rest.

Penny/Wonderwoman: (stepping into the room wearing a suit that causes the audience to “woo!”) All right. Let’s get this thing over with.

Sheldon: (annoyed) I’m sorry. But in what universe is Wonder Woman blonde?

Howard: (grinning) Relax. No one’s going to be looking at her hair!

*Penny deservedly punches Howard in the arm.*

Howard: Ow! I mean, (in gruff voice) ow.

Zack: Hold on. The costume came with a black wig. Where is it, babe?

Penny: No. I’m not wearing it. It looks stupid.

Zack: Come on. We’re trying to win a contest here.

Penny: Forget it! I’m not wearing the wig.

Zack: Penny, there’s no I in Justice League!

*The gang look at each confusedly.*

Howard: Well, actually —

Sheldon: Don’t. He’s making our case.

Zack: Okay, babe. Uh, kind of embarrassing me in front of my friends.

Penny: Okay. You know what? I changed my mind. I’m not going.

*Penny goes back to her apartment and slams the door.*

Raj: (striding into the centre of the room, beaming) Looks like someone else is going to have to be Wonder Woman!

This episode has many superb moments in it, and the jokes come on thick and fast. Like the Flash. The Justice League Recombination is a must-see Big Bang Theory episode, if only to see Sheldon going mad as the Flash (as well as the after effects…).

Note that this quote is a bit last minute, so there is a high chance that I mis-quoted something here…

Live long and prosper! 😀

Big Bang Theory Quiz!

I’ve made it a bit harder this time…

  1. While on a driving simulator, name a place Sheldon ends up by accident.
  2. In the same episode, what’s the name of the road both Howard and Penny take Sheldon down, much to his discomfort, because of the speed bumps?
  3. What comic character does Leonard compare Sheldon to when Sheldon practices his smile, just before entering Raj’s office?
  4. During his first ‘date’ with Penny, what does Leonard drop under the table after using it to display centripetal force, causing him to bash his head under the table?
  5. Why does Penny’s new red armchair end up on the street in a Season 5 episode?
  6. In the same episode, who discovers the armchair and carries it into the flat, unaware of the reasons as to why it was there?
  7. What does Sheldon suggest Priya does during her one day in California, during the “go north…you are in a forest” episode?
  8. What evidence does Sheldon give Amy, showing that he’s good at biology?
  9. What Biblical character does Sheldon compare Leonard to after he rebels against Sheldon’s roommate agreement?
  10. What mathematical number can you link a ball pit to via The Big Bang Theory?
  11. What does Bernadette hope her parents mistake the Klingon on the back of her wedding invitations for?
  12. What instrument does Sheldon sometimes use in a cinema to find the ‘acoustic sweet spot’ (apart from his voice)?
  13. And what instrument does Sheldon play to interfere with the creation of Leonard’s differential equation solver app?
  14. What should Sheldon never do walking down the stairs?
  15. And in that same episode, when Penny shouts “I don’t care if Richard Feynman was a purple leprechaun,” what does she forget to use?
  16. What does SHELDON stand for?
  17. What new policy does Penny introduce on the spot at the Cheesecake Factory, preventing Sheldon from getting his meal?
  18. When trying to find a grasshopper, what happens to Sheldon when he goes down the elevator shaft?
  19. What liquid is responsible for the destruction of the elevator?
  20. What two events do the gang add lasers to when performing them?
  21. What do the cleaning ladies find one night on a table in the university cafeteria?
  22. What historical inconsistency did Sheldon show Leonard on a photo in the car while he’s a ‘robot’?
  23. How does Sheldon order his cereals?
  24. What temporal anomaly does Star Trek Sheldon discover at the Renaissance Fair?
  25. When we first see Leonard’s mother, what is she looking at?

Same as before: comment your answers, I’ll tell you your score, then I’ll post the answers ASAP. Please don’t cheat. Just delve through your brain, and you’ll find the answers. Live long and prosper! 😀

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