Well hello to you, everyone! Again, I apologise for my lack of blogging; I can’t believe it’s been a whole month! I guess this is what they call blogger’s block.
As some of you may notice in my title, I’ve been celebrating the return of Miranda Hart and the third series of her sitcom. Although I’m bitterly disappointed that she seldom says the title to this blog post or “On with the show!”, and that the delightfully camp Clive — Gary’s annoying yet amazing assistant in the restaurant — is absent, I loved many moments of it: seeing how Miranda sees Gary — the daydreaming involving war paint and making love and Frankie Goes To Hollywood’s “Relax (New York Mix)” –; the M&S song; the massage (awkwardness is an understatement for what I felt as I watched the sketch); the Dirty Dancing lift (you will wince); and the kiss…with a certain member of Take That!
For those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about, Miranda is a sitcom about the comedienne of the same name, trying but failing to act normal in the presence of her infuriatingly annoying and out-of-touch “what I call” mother; her small, hyperactive shop assistant, Stevie; her posh “splendisamo” schoolfriend, Tilly; and her crush from university, Gary. Over the series, Miranda has been treated by a pyschotherapist, witnessed her old French teacher naked, and had the most extraordinary experience of her life in a hotel room. It’s steadily staled over the series, so the first one is the best, there are still moments of comedy genius to be found in the later series. Critics love it, and so do I.
How many of you watched the Opening Ceremony to the Paralympic Games? If not, why? Was it because the Games wouldn’t be as enjoyable as the Olympics? Was it because the athletes don’t have much strength since they’re disabled? Was it because it’s essentially the Olympics’ younger brother that is always in their older brother’s shadow? If so, then I’m about to show you why all these thoughts are complete balderdash; the Paralympic Games may be the Olympics’ younger brother, but they are the younger brother who quickly develops into a courageous, powerful and important person, faster than it’s older brother. The Paralympic Games should NOT be overlooked. And here’s why.
The Paralympic athletes are so superhuman they might as well be from the planet Krypton. They defy the limitations of human strength, perseverance and determination to show the world that even if they may be disabled, blind, limbless or otherwise, they can professionally play versions of Olympic sports that are ludricously more extreme and violent. Can’t imagine blind people playing football? Think wheelchair basketball is nice and calm? Consider the idea of people missing a leg swimming like super-professionals to be impossible? Well, think again. Like the C4 ad says, the Olympics is just the Warm Up; the Paralympics is the real challenge.
If you thought the task of creating the Olympics Closing Ceremony after the brilliance of Danny Boyle’s Opening Ceremony was tough, just imagine the amount of stress on the people behind the Paralympic Opening Ceremony. It would be almost unbearable. But in the end, it was awesome. Even if there was no special event like the Queen parachuting out of a helicopter, it was an all round spectacular ceremony centered around the girl Miranda from Shakespeare’s The Tempest. Instead of all the action taking place at the beginning, they split between the beginning and the end, which I thought was a wise decision, since in the Olympic Ceremony they classified the lighting of the Olympic cauldron as a brand new thing to be enticed by. Since this was now expected, they needed to end the show with some brand new stuff.
The imagination behind the show was immense. The fact that Stephen Hawking in a sense began the entire ceremony was a genius idea, since he’s the biggest brain in the world, and has defied his disability by living far longer than expected. The show was a fascinating celebration of science and human rights, focusing on the Big Bang and Newton’s apple (I didn’t really understand the meaning behind everybody watching taking a bite out of an apple). Miranda’s journey was so eccentric and imaginative it brought to mind a girl wearing a blue dress and white apron staring up at a cat that has teeth so big it’s a miracle that its jaws are actually still intact. It was like a dream in both senses.
They had a man zipwire hundreds of feet above the ground to take the Paralympic torch to the cauldron. How cool is that?! And watching disabled artists defy their limitations to entertain us in dazzling ways was another real highlight (the dancer in particular was extraordinary). And then there was Boris. Good old Boris: the only politician who would laugh at the suggestion of him being in one of the zipwires above the stadium; the only politician who asks the interview, “How are you?”; and the only politician who is so human that they actually watch enough television to refer to C4’s Paralympic advert!
May the Paralympic Games live long and prosper! 🙂
If I found myself feeling insane, courageous, or under the influence of Red Bull, these are the top five things I would do.
- Walk around town or down a crowded street wearing a Soundtrack T-Shirt, playing The Imperial March, Walking On Sunshine, a video game tune (like Super Mario Bros.) or some other equally embarassing and head-turning tune (thanks to Raj for the inspiration).
- Enter my Pin Number into an ATM, but shout out the wrong digits to baffle the people behind me (thanks to Michael McIntyre for the inspiration).
- Pose completely still in a shop window, like a shop dummy, and then scare people as they walk by (thanks to Miranda [Hart] for the inspiration).
- Have somebody call my Nokia phone so that it can play the ringtone out loud, and then I can yell, “HELLO!…WHAT?…NO, I’M IN A ____!…NO, IT’S RUBBISH!…ALRIGHT!…CIAO!” (thanks to Dom Joly from Trigger Happy TV for the inspiration).
- While somebody is choosing over which biscuits to buy, control two monkey puppets who look over the aisle at them and say, “Jammy. Jammy Jammy,” and “Toffee! Toffee Toffee!” (thanks to the epic Jammy Dodger ads for the inspiration).
Live long and prosper! 😀
As a child, you watch pantomimes, and all that’s running through your head is “He’s behind you!” and “I hope we we’re the loudest part of the theatre in the singing contest” and “I can’t wait to boo the villain!” But you don’t pay much attention to the costumes and scripts, (except for the “Oh no you’re not” bits and when they do that annoying “Oh so-and-so! Oh so-and-so! Oh so-and-so!” etc) meaning you hardly ever get how rude and un-childlike they are. Watching the pantomimes on TV over Christmas, I was just SO GLAD how I never got hardly any of the rude jokes as a child. For, as you may know, pantomime writers seemed to LOVE innuendo.
Being a teenager is when innuendo becomes part of your sense of humour. Some choose to fight it. Some choose to pretend that they don’t understand innuendo jokes. Some just go with the flow.
Nowadays you can find innuendo on many TV programmes. TV Burp. Big Bang Theory (“Who has wood for my sheep?”). Miranda (GIMASSIVE EXAMPLE). And when you’re a teenager, that one innuendo-feeding neurone in your brain is at last connected, and it starts to learn how to buzz whenever Sheldon ponders as to why his need for wood is making Howard and Raj giggle. Then your brain faces a dilemma: should it ignored, should it be fed, or should it be blocked?
But the worst thing about innuendo is that it can spread. It can be influenced into other people. I should know, because it has happened to me. Unfortunately.
It’s not just teenagers that laugh at innuendo. It apparently seems that if you let it, the neurone lasts into young adulthood. Some innuendo was found in John Steinbeck’s Of Mice and Men, which Steinbeck very probably did not notice. And let’s just say our teacher did not consider our attitude towards the jokes a little alien.
The English language today is filled with euphemisms and innuendo and puns that suddenly become extremely funny once you come of age. As a teenager, I can safely say that the worst part about being a teenager with a sense of humour trying to restrain itself from craving innuendo, is when you say something that is met by laughs…and then you realise the wrong part of what you said (I am NOT giving an example)! But liking innuendo is not too bad. Even if it’s not in good taste, it provides laughs, and that’s what’s important.
But the best thing about innuendo is, to paraphrase an epic blog, life’s a bowl of innuendos! 😀