Monthly Archives: June, 2012

Gas Masks

For some, it means childhood. For some, it means history. For me, it means nightmares, phobia of second world war museums, and haunting nightmares of cracking skin, bottomless black eyes and screaming. Endless screaming.

I decided to write this post after Doctor Who posted a photo on Facebook of a gas-mask-wearing-zombie (or, as I call them, GMZs). Just one look and all my nightmares, all my memories, all my goosebumps came flooding back to me. What also did not help was dreaming about GMZs yesterday night. I dreamt that I had been given for my birthday a wearable replica of the gas mask from the Doctor Who episode The Empty Child, and I told the giver that I wanted them to return it, because it gave me nightmares and I was scared of it. In fact in that dream, just to prove my point, I remember being a sub-dream where I was being chased by a GMZ. But this was one of those dreams where you can’t run probably, but where you leaping bounds that only take you an inch per stride. The GMZ’s finger was reaching out. One touch, and my face would quiver. My eye sockets would bulge open, my eye balls morphing into bottomless rimmed black glass. My mouth would crack open, and I would cough out a gas canister. A strap would tighten like a vice round my matted hair. And my voicebox, my freedom to speak my mind, would be no more but a servant to the ghastly phrase.

I saw The Empty Child seven years ago, and it has not escaped my memory since. The plot was amazing. The characters were amazing. But the monsters were…MORTIFYING. Far off shots of them were  OK. What did NOT help was seeing ‘The Empty Child’ up-close, almost as if you could touch lips with the gas canister. And the voice. That innocent, childish, liquid-nitrogen-cold voice, whimpering tortuously, “Are you my mummy?” And the finger. That dirt-stained finger, wielding the power to put victims through a hellish transformation, turning flesh into stagnant black leather, turning eyes into ghastly glass rims, turning into lips and teeth into a protrusive gas canister which the victim is forced to choke out.

Whenever I go into a ‘Doctor Who Experience’ or a History Museum which is likely to mention the Second World War, I am always on the lookout for gas masks (well, not really. I just keep facing forward in each room and rely on signs or other people to determine if there is a gas mask in a certain room). When I saw the cliffhanger to The Empty Child, and I had just seen shots of GMZs sitting up in their hospital beds, faces taking up entire shots, about to lay their fingers on The Doctor, Rose and Captain Jack, I ran from the room wailing with indescribable terror. For weeks my dreams were haunted. This is all no exaggeration. I would hate Steven Moffat for life if he didn’t write such epic episodes; write the greatest Doctor Who episode EVER (Blink – the unforgettable episode introducing Weeping Angels and the most impossible instruction you can ever give that can actually mean life or death: DON’T BLINK. DON’T EVEN BLINK; BLINK & YOU’RE DEAD. DON’T TURN YOUR BACK, DON’T LOOK AWAY, AND DON’T BLINK.); make Fez’s, Stetsons and fish fingers in custards cool; and create Sherlock.

Everyone has a Doctor Who monster as one of their weaknesses. For some it’s Autons (living shop dummies). For some it’s Weeping Angels. For some it’s Vashta Nerada (“Hey, who turned out the lights?”). And for some, it’s the old Daleks and Cybermen. But for me, it’s the GMZ. No other monster has invaded my dreams and remained in power for seven years (the Weeping Angels only invaded my dreams for one night). I don’t constantly have visions of The Empty Child opening the door and marching into my room any more, but he still invades my nightmares and makes me wake up with his close up image emblazoned like a scorchmark behind my eyes. The Empty Child and The Doctor Dances, to this day, I have only seen once (the second episode I saw after gathering up my courage out of earshot for quarter of an hour, and it still didn’t help). I also have not braved seeing the episodes in The Shooting Scripts.

Gas Mask-wearing Zombies are petrifying. Period.

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50!

Well, here it is! My fiftieth post! And since you can never tire of the Big Bang Theory, well, this post is Big Bang Theory related!

What am I going to do? Do a quote from the fiftieth episode (where Sheldon teaches Penny rudimentary physics. An example quote from that episode is in fact in the previous post)? Do a countdown of the top 50 Big Bang Theory quotes? Give 50 reasons as to why Big Bang Theory is flawlessly epic? No. Sorry. It’s just going to be a quote. About the number 73! (FYI, I checked this quote on Wikipedia and a blog of BBT quotes.)

Sheldon: What is the best number? And by the way, there is only one correct answer.

Raj: Five million, three-hundred eighteen thousand, and eight?

Sheldon:Wrong. The best number is 73. You’re probably wondering why?

Leonard: No.

Howard: Uh-uh.

Raj: We’re good.

Sheldon: 73 is the 21st prime number. Its mirror, 37, is the 12th, and its mirror, 21, is the product of multiplying, hang on to your hats, seven and three. Eh? Eh? Did I lie?

Leonard: We get it. 73 is the Chuck Norris of numbers.

Sheldon: Chuck Norris wishes. In binary, 73 is a palindrome: 1001001, which backwards is 1001001, exactly the same. All Chuck Norris backwards gets you is Sirron Kcuhc!

Raj: Just for the record, when you enter five million, three-hundred eighteen thousand, and eight in calculator, upside down it spells [YOU KNOW WHAT].

Leonard: Remember when you were wondering why the girls didn’t want to eat with us tonight?

Howard: Yeah, I get it now.

Oh and FYI, in the same episode, Amy develops a crush on Penny’s ex-boyfriend, Zack; Raj and Howard compete over who should be ‘Rat Man’; we see Howard wearing a wrestling suit; and we learn the origin of the cartoon heart…

I don’t know if I told you this before, but the name of this website is thanks to the brilliant mind that is Ben from Outnumbered (although the best character is unarguably Karen). He used the word “zingy zangy zongy” to describe how he felt after he drank half a double espresso. I myself quite like coffee, and I LOVE feeling hyper! Also, I thought that ‘zingy zangy zongy’ was an absolutely amazing word, along with ‘blogging’, ‘doodling’, ‘limo’ and ‘little Lalita’. It was also thanks to zoewright96 (lifesabowlofinnuendos.wordpress.com) that I started this blog, and I just want to give the most specialest of thanks to her for convincing me to start this blog. It’s just that so many writers across the centuries have turned the most geniusly thankful phrases into cliché, so all I can say is this: Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyousomuchthankyouthankyouthankyousovery-veryverymuchthankyouthanks.

As Leonard Nimoy/Spock says, live long and prosper all you wonderful people! 😀

Greetings, Hamburger Toucher!

Don’t worry, I know you’re not! I just wanted to show that this post is related to Big Bang Theory.

I just want to show you a photo I found on imgfave. It will BLOW YOUR MIND!

Well? Was I right or was I right! And there’s plenty more where that came from!

Live long and prosper! 😀

My Future Plans

I’m overjoyed that I now have the ability to blog again on this website! I’ve made a list of stuff that I might do in the future:

  1. Continue choosing ‘My Favourite Songs of the Week’. I’m kinda running out of bands and songs that I consider to be genius, but I’m hoping it will last a while. I will continue to post this every Monday.
  2. Continue choosing my ‘Favourite Big Bang Theory Quote of the Week’. As usual, unless something interrupts the schedule, this will happen every Thursday. There are plenty of quotes out there, so it’ll last a while!
  3. Post a story. I’m a bit of a writer, so I’m considering posting a story on here. I have a bit of a selection to choose from, including a story set in a fantasy world which I wrote a year ago; a love story I made for my Spoken Language assessment this month; a story I’m planning to write up over the summer; or I can just make a new one.
  4. Do more quizes. I’m happy to do more Big Bang Theory quizes, but I’m also considering doing a quiz based on something else, like Doctor Who. Does anybody have any suggestions?
  5. Write my own screenplay for(maybe a ten minute chunk of)The Big Bang Theory. Here, I can finally fulfill my wish of having Leslie Winkle appear in another episode! I have an idea for the plot and sub-plot, but I’m faced with two problems: I don’t have a sense of humour as good as the Big Bang Theory writers, and I’m not exactly brilliant at degree-level physics, so I might need a bit of help there…  But I’m going to give it a try! If you want anything else to happen in this episode, please do say (or, alternatively, you could write your own episode)!

And finally, I shall continue to make needlessly long posts about random things for no particular reason! Have any genius, intelligently epic ideas? Please do comment!

Live long and prosper! 😀

Favourite Songs of the Week!

  1. Proxima Centauri’s the Nearest Star – Sheldon Cooper
  2. Walk Out To Winter – Aztec Camera
  3. Cops & Robbers – The Hoosiers
  4. The Sound of the Crowd – The Human League
  5. Hot Stuff – Donna Summer

Catching Fire

Last Thursday, deep in the middle of exam week (I was 2/3rds of the way through my exams), I came home, and was greeted by something I had been waiting for for months, but could not have come at a worse time, for I could tell it was going to put my revision in jeopardy: Catching Fire (the sequel to The Hunger Games).

As soon as I read the first sentence, I was a gonna. As soon as I had finished the first chapter, I had to restrain myself greatly from continuing, for I knew if I did, the next time I look at a clock it will be midnight.

That last paragraph was kind of a massive exaggeration. But you get the point (or, to use a better word, gist). Suzanne Collins drew me in using the same technique she had used in her first book. The sentences were short and staccato; commas were rare; thoughts and narrative sentences played like quavers, abrupt but meaningful; and chapters meant ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to me.

I’m really struggling to create a decent paragraph to explain how great this book is. Within just a few sittings, I was a quarter of the way through. But sometimes the chapters lag, or don’t contain that spark of brilliance which The Hunger Games consistently and professionally used. The chapter cliffhangers make up for them though (I so want to give an example, but it will definitely have spoilers). It clearly shows the features of a typical sequel, often referring back to the original novel as flashbacks and memories playing in Katniss’s mind. But somehow those memories aren’t as bothersome as say the references to the original film in The Jungle Book 2.

When I finished The Hunger Games, I considered it impossible for another plot as good as the first to be thought up. The plot for Catching Fire is pretty amazing, and is equally unfair but gripping as the first. However, I feel at the moment that absolutely NOTHING can beat the plot for The Hunger Games (I might be wrong). But I have been told that Catching Fire has a “ma-HOO-sive” (nett word!) ending, so all my criticisms might be for nought. I’ll just have to wait and see.

Live long and prosper! 😀

Hi Everybody!

Itssa me! Tazir3! And I’mma back! Mamma mia!

Me and nearly everybody else in my school year have just had four days of exams: some vital, some determining how much of a GCSE we do, some just mocks. I did nine in four days, but some people had to do up to TWELVE. Over the course of the week, the servers for SAM Learning and BBC Bitesize and GCSEPod have been whirring frantically; brains have been bubbling and sweating, almost eroding their skulls; fingers and thumbs have turned red and swollen; the poor guy in many people’s memory bank has consistently went on strike; the Sports Hall has become a second home; and tempers have risen out of bodies until forcefields of fury and stress and pressure are formed. Basically, it was like being in hell, except it was led not just by Satan but by the God of the Underworld: Hades.

Time was never on our side over the week. It never allowed us to do all the revision we want AND give us free time as well. It set off panic switches within people when the invigilator shouted, “Right, you have ten minutes left” and they hadn’t even finished the exam paper yet. But sometimes it was kind. Sometimes it made exams drag on and on while you wrote out an essay on spoken language. Sometimes it let you take a little nap when you had just finished a paper in half the time given. Sometimes it would surprise you by revealing that your supposedly one-hour-long revision session had in fact lasted for quarter of an hour. But let us not forget that time is cool: time is what separates humans from Gallifreyians; time is the epic fourth dimension; and time is the only thing between cats and opposable thumbs!

But enough about this hellish week. Lets talk about something better: Big Bang Theory! Here is my favourite Big Bang Theory quote of the week (from Season 4), and THE ONE QUOTE I can not recite off by heart (even know I know every single exception to the question “What have the Romans Ever Done For Us?”):

Leonard: You’ll never guess what just happened to me in the hallway!

Sheldon: You went out in the hallway, stumbled into an inter-dimensional portal which brought you five thousand years into the future. There, you took advantage of the advanced technology to build a time machine. Now you’re back to bring us all with you to the year 7010 where we are transported to work at the Thinkatorium by telepathically controlled flying dolphins.

Leonard: No!

Sheldon: (crestfallen) Oh…

Howard: So, what happened?

Leonard: (still in a state of shock)Penny kissed me!

Sheldon: (confused) Well who would’ve guessed that?

That was for the 14th June. Now here’s a better one for the 21st (from Season 5) which I’m sure you will recognise!

Amy: (disgusted) Jewellery?! Sheldon, you are the most shallow, self-centered person I know! Do you really think another transparently manipulative- ohh, it’s a tiara! (her posture becomes wobbly at the sight of her dream piece of jewellery). A tiara! I have a tiara! (staggering over to Penny, holding out the tiara) Put it on me! Put it on me! Put it on me! Put in on me! Put it on me! (Amy beams as Penny places it over her hair. She looks amazing.)

Penny: (amazed) You look beautiful!

Amy: (interrupting she’s so ecstatic) Of course I’m beautiful! I’m a princess! I have my tiara! (she gives Sheldon a massive kiss and hugs him tightly)

Sheldon: (awkwardly hugging Amy back) You’re right. The tiara was too much.

Also, FYI, here are three songs that you should NOT have stuck in your brain’s jukebox during an exam (my NOT Favourite Songs of the Week, if you like):

  1. Mah Na Mah Na – The Muppets
  2. Always Look on the Bright Side of Life – Monty Python (The Life of Brian)
  3. Macarena – Los Del Rio

What songs do YOU think should NOT be stuck in your head in an exam (or you DID have stuck in your head during an exam)?

But anyway, I’m back, along with my ludricrously long posts! I shall continue to blog until something as big as last week arrives.

Live long and prosper! 😀

Don’t Worry – I’m Not Dead Yet!

I’m not dead. I just haven’t posted since  Monday, because I’m doing STUPID REVISION!

I have nine exams to do next week. Four are important, two determine whether I do a full GCSE or half GCSE, and three are mocks. I’m having to do so much work I’m constantly surprising myself (although I will be even more surprised if I can remember all I learn).

I’m having to restrain myself in not babbling here, because I need to do some Physics Revision right now. Just remember that I won’t be posting for about a week or so. Live long and prosper!

Also, here’s my Favourite Songs of the Week, a few days in advance:

  1. Baggy Trousers – Madness
  2. A Forest – The Cure
  3. Echo Beach – Martha & The Muffins
  4. There Once Was a Brave Lad called Leonard – Sheldon Cooper
  5. Super Mario Bros Theme Tune – Nintendo

 

Favourite Songs of the Week!

  1. Take On Me – A-Ha
  2. Worried About Ray – The Hoosiers
  3. Supermassive Black Hole – Muse
  4. Surfin’ Bird – The Trashmen
  5. Being Boiled – The Human League

Cleverbot

For my 42nd post, I’m going to post a link to ANOTHER Big Bang Theory-linked website!

But this website was not necessarily designed for Big Bang Theory fans…

It’s Cleverbot: a website where you can have a conversation with a very clever robot! In fact, this robot is so clever that if you type in the first line of ‘Soft Kitty’, it will reply with the second line. It can sing Soft Kitty with you!!! Just type in “soft kitty” and shiver with delight, Big Bang Theory fans!

http://www.cleverbot.com/

I didn’t find this though; another Big Bang Theory geek (zoewright96, who blogs on http://lifesabowlofinnuendos.wordpress.com/) introduced this to me, so very special thanks go to her!

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