I find night fascinating. Not just by its appearance, but also psychologically. But the psychological side of night is not what I like. It’s the appearance.
If you asked a young child to draw the night sky, he would whip out the black crayon and scribble it all over the page. But night is not black. Nothing is black. Anything that’s supposed to be black is just a very dark shade of a colour. And night is a big example. Sometimes it can look dark blue. Sometimes it looks dark grey. Over the years, artists have all painted how they view the night sky. Van Gogh, for example, with his swirling vortexes of yellow and white. Extraordinary. That’s what night is. Very extraordinary.
But also night is bad. It can psychologically hurt you. It’s as if night is a black…sorry, BLUE hand that just reaches inside your brain and revives every worrying memory inside your head. And when you have an exam the next day, or you’ve just broken up with a friend, or you are scared of something, your feeling of worry really comes alive.
I used to love night. I’d specifically make sure my bedroom door was closed before I went to bed, just so that I could let the night embrace me (as weird as it sounds). And if there was a storm, or rain, or (even better) snow outside, I would be in heaven. Bed + Night + Horrible weather outside = Cloud 9 for me.
But now, night has changed for the worse. It’s now become evil and claustrophobic. If I was away from home, it would activate the homesickness switch that’s gathering dust at the back of my mind. If I had an exam, it would whisper to me, “Remember that mistake you probably made? Remember that question you probably struggled on? Remember that question you made a guess on?” If I had an exam coming I would get, “Did you revise enough, or were you lazy?”
Those thoughts were rattling around my head the night after the German Test. But recently, I learned I got an amazing grade for it! I slept very well that night.
Phew! That was a long post for me! Oh, I just remembered my promise. Sorry. I just wanted to get this out of my system. Till next time, ta ra.
After spending three years only having about six short “major” exams a year and doing lots of fun stuff, suddenly being bombarded with stress, exams and revision really whacks you in the face.
I’m starting my GCSEs at the moment, and I am not enjoying it. History is fun (I’m getting good grades in it), Art is also quite enjoyable, and German is also good. But the important subjects (i.e. English, Maths and Science) are where most of the stress comes from.
Lets take English as an example. Whilst our teacher is emphatic and hilarious, the exam board is NEITHER of the two. Sitting in the classroom doing the Reading test, my hands became so sweaty that smudgy ink marks appeared all the way down the right column. Every time I looked at the clock, my estimations were always wrong. It’s as if in English exams, the god who controls time decided to let his not-so-intelligent apprentice take the wheel.
Now I’ve got a Science exam soon, so I’m not in a very Christmassy mood. I want to revise, but a mixture of purposefully late nights and distractions everywhere does not add up to easy revision. I guess I’ll just have to persevere…
So there we go. My first post is all about exams. But I promise you, my next post will (hopefully) be a bit better.